No is an Answer

As a thirteen-year-old, my mentor taught me a valuable lesson. He taught me that no is an answer in this world. My first job was cutting grass at my mentor's tennis academy. Early in our work relationship, I asked him for something and fully expected him to say yes. Much to my dismay, he said no. My response was to storm off in anger and shock that he said no. The next day he sat me down and explained the importance of learning to accept no as an answer. He did not explain his reasoning behind saying no, as his reason was unimportant. What mattered most was developing my understanding of the importance of the word no.

I quickly learned that asking for something does not mean I will receive it just because I asked. I learned to earn things like pay raises and promotions, and even then, nothing in life is guaranteed except death.

No also enables you to have greater control of your surroundings and life. For example, how often has a co-worker asked you for help, and you said yes because you want to be known as a team player. However, how many of those times were you better off saying no? If I cannot help you today, it does not make me a bad person. It just means I can't help you at this moment.

Another benefit of understanding the word no is that it enables you to seek alternative ways of asking for something where the person cannot say no. It expands your thought process and vocabulary, for example. I need help completing a report and cannot do it without your input and statistics. I come to you and ask, "can you provide me with the first quarter statistics by close of business today?" If you do not have the time, your response is no. However, you cannot say no if I say, " I need your input and statistics for my report. The report is due in four days. When can you get me the statistics by?"

Lastly, saying no allows you to be more trustworthy. You will say no rather than promise something you cannot deliver on. I prefer to say no, I cannot make it to your event than say yes and not show up. We are preoccupied with hurting someone's feelings when we say no. No is an answer, and if you are offended by being told no, that is your problem, not mine.